I DON’T NEED YOU, I’LL MARRY MYSELF!

*Antoine Cheval

It was a picturesque occasion. A crowd, as thick as the air witnessed the historic moment. Antoine Cheval, the lone character, calmly went through the procedures and made a solemn vow. “I do,” he said, to a thunderous cheer - in his head!

 "Do you, Antoine, take Antoine to be your lawfully wedded spouse, to love and to cherish from this day forward?"

**Antoine:** "I do."

"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you... married to yourself. You may now kiss the mirror."

Decked up in a joint black suit and white wedding gown, the  French man gave himself a ring and the ceremony was over.  He took pictures, later, looking more like a clown than a married couple!

Tired of years of failed relationships, Antione said he married the only person who truly understood him: himself. To others, he said: “I don’t need you, I’ll marry myself!”

Recently, 42-year-old Sarah Wilkinson, from the UK, did the same thing.  She staged a ceremony she said celebrated self-love, in front of her mirror.

*Sarah Wilkinson

 "Do you, Sarah, take Sarah to be your lawfully wedded partner, to cherish and adore from this moment onwards?"

**Sarah:** "I absolutely do."

 "…I now pronounce you... your own spouse. You may now hug yourself."

But wait! There are more Antiones and Sarahs. Dorothy Fideli, for instance, never remarried after her divorce nearly five decades ago. But when she turned 77, a few years back, she married herself in front of her three children and two dozen witnesses in Goshen, Ohio, according to CNN.

*Dorothy Fideli (courtesy: CNN)

Kshama Bindu, from Gujarat, equally took the same path not long ago, when she took 'saat phere' with herself and put sindoor on her forehead to perform India's first sologamy or self-marriage.

CNN also reported of 34-year-old Brittany Rist walking down the aisle in Ozark, Missouri, to read her vows alone in front of a mirror in her backyard. She  accepted her own proposal and gave herself a ring. 

“I vow to never settle or abandon myself in a romantic partnership ever again,” she reportedly told the lady in the mirror. Months earlier, she had separated from her son’s father, after nine years together.

*Brittany Rist (courtesy: CNN)

To her, marrying herself was liberating. “We pour all of this time and money and energy into marrying other people, and we don’t ever pour that back into ourselves,” she reportedly said.

The concept of self-marriage may have been around for years, but it seems to be spreading fast. As the world advances, humanity seems to be falling into cubicles.

Most of sologamists describe the act as a symbolic expression of self-love and an affirmation of a deep, meaningful relationship with one’s self. But that may just be taking “self-love” to the extreme.

However, CNN cited a therapist, John Amodeo, as saying “more and more people are realising that they need to take responsibility for their own happiness — that they can have a satisfying, meaningful life without being in a partnership.” Amodeo is also the author of “Dancing with Fire: A Mibdful Way to Loving Relationships.”

In a world of 8.1 billion people, where dating apps are as ubiquitous as mallams with their roaming cattle, isolation and individualism are fast eating deeper. Today, more and more people are ironically getting lonely and lost in the crowd. 

*Danni Adams (courtesy: CNN)

People like 30-year-old Danni Adams, who got married to herself in December, 2022, before about 40 guests in Sanford, Florida.

A friend officiated and she had nine bridesmaids. Like others, she read her vows in front of a full-length mirror, yet there are numerous persons in search of love and partners.

Ena Jones, 52, also married herself on her 50th birthday in September 2020. “This is my most important relationship … It symbolizes my love for myself for the rest of my life,” she reportedly said.

Amodeo has however cautioned that while sologamy can help people build self-esteem, it should not preclude emotional connection with other human beings.

Well, we've all heard of "me time," but "I marry me time"? That's a whole new level of self-commitment. The story of sologamy somehow illustrates the extreme lengths to which people can go to find fulfillment within themselves. But it ironically still leaves those involved at the starting bloc - loneliness! While self-love is a healthy practice, marrying oneself veers into the realm of the absurd.

The reported self-marriage ceremonies highlight a societal trend where the pursuit of independence has transformed into a celebration of individualism. The society seems to be saying  the only way to truly be happy is to literally tie the knot with oneself.

* Ena Jones (courtesy: CNN)

Yet,  let's not overlook the practicalities. Perhaps, the sologamists have found partners who never argue, always understand their needs, and share their every interest. Yet, this perfect harmony also underscores a significant issue: in our quest to love ourselves, we seem to be gradually forgetting how to love others!

Okay, we may have found  the ultimate solution to relationship woes: focusing on ourselves. No compromises, no heartbreaks, just a constant echo of self-affirmation. But funnily, it also shines a light on the loneliness that often accompanies extreme individualism.

In our increasingly connected yet isolated world, self-marriages are a humorous yet stark reminder that while loving oneself is important, sharing that love with others is what makes life truly fulfilling.

Imagine Antoine, toasting with himself:  "Here’s to us, to a future filled with understanding and unwavering support. May we never argue, except over which side of the bed to sleep on!"